Saturday, March 27, 2010

When Life Seems Lost, What's Next?

I realize it's been over 6 months since I think I've even navigated to this page. But alas, I have returned. It's hard to say where I've been the last 6 months. Seems as though it's been a roller coaster to nowhere. But there comes a time when you decide it's time to unsnap the buckle, pull yourself out of the seat, and step onto solid ground. My solid ground has been the most difficult place to find these days, but I realize I can't continue on this stomach turning coaster any longer. I feel as though the path I'm on isn't taking me anywhere but in circles. Instead, the whole world is spinning around me, and I'm lost in the center of it. In these rough economic times, there are people out there who have lost everything they know. Their home, their job, a car, some even their sanity. As I'm sitting here on my patio of my newly purchased home, on a stack of comfortable savings, with a booming career in front of me, I feel as though my life has been ripped apart and torn away from me. Someone from the outside looking in at me, on the surface, would think I have everything going for me, that I am the happiest, luckiest person in the world. They would be shocked to learn that they are completely and totally wrong. I will be the first to admit I have lost my soul, my spirit, my passion. Some may say that is even worse than being in a financial crisis. To me, that seems true.

However, I choose to move forward and find my soul again, regain my spirit and passion for life. But I have realized that this is not something I could ever do on my own. As I currently do some intense soul searching here in the places I know so well, where so many memories reply in my head (that I absolutely want to forget), I take on the challenge of "finding myself" in the midst of all my chaos.

There is one thing that I know I want and need to do, and that is continuing my travels, and continuing to learn all I can about the world around us. My problem for this traveling I so long to do, hopefully in the next 5 months, is that I will have to embark on this adventure alone. I will not have the luxury of staying with family or friends, in a place that I can feel safe and comfortable, as I did last summer. I will be stepping out of any element I ever thought was my own.

Everyday I sit and ponder where it is that I would like to go to help in "finding myself" and the end result is me saying in my head 'I don't want to go anywhere on my own. There's no way I could ever do that.' But here, now, I ask you for your help, for your advise. Everyone has their own opinion of where a great vacation spot would be, and I want to hear where those spots of yours are, or where you would one day like to visit. I'd also like to hear where you think would be a place for me to go to find the peace and solitude I so desperately wish to find. I have always had a huge desire to travel to any Asian country, but I know so little about them, it scares me to death to think I would go there alone.

Purpose of this post? Your thoughts, your opinions, your dreams. Somewhere you'd like to go, something you'd like to experience. Ideas or advise as to where I should travel to this summer. And then when I embark on that adventure, you will have all the joys of hearing them all over again right here, on this blog.

Thanks for all the love, support and helpful hints that are to come.